


Contrapasso

by LaCacciatrice



Category: The Flash (Comics)
Genre: Angst, M/M, No proof read, dark!Barry, we die like Batman's side-kicks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-21
Updated: 2020-10-21
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:27:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27139372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaCacciatrice/pseuds/LaCacciatrice
Summary: “It would be naïve of me to hope that you brought me here just to catch up?” August forced a smirk on his face and leaned back against the cold wall behind him, muscles tightened with anticipation. Barry lifted his hands and slowly pushed back his cowl, the blond locks falling into his eyes as he looked up at August with those wide, blue eyes that hid nothing. There was pain in his eyes, tangled with other feelings such as guilt, anger, fear...Something terrible happened.
Relationships: Barry Allen/August Heart
Comments: 7
Kudos: 11





	Contrapasso

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote a fic like this for Halbarry fandom and I wanted to try that Barry with August since August would be more willing to understand Barry.  
> I literally have no goal to achieve here, I have no idea why I wrote this fic. I am tipsy and sick and... whatever. I will fill AugustxBarry tag all by myself.  
> Warning: English is like my third language.

The first time he met Wolfe, he was still wearing the blues proudly; his heart wasn’t completely consumed by the dark vines of hatred and anger... or the guilt and disappointment that was eating him these days. His eyes were brighter, his smirk was cockier and less bitter. He wasn’t even supposed to be there, he was still a rookie and a trip to Iron Heights was forbidden to the newbie cops mostly because some of the inmates were extremely dangerous, even for the Flash, Central’s newly crowned local hero who helped Justice League to save the world from  Darkseid’s invasion. He was only there because he was accompanying Singh and his new CSI, Allen. Wolfe didn’t pay much attention to him, or to the new CSI; he welcomed Singh with a bitter look and talked to only him. 

The new CSI and August gave each other  an unamused look but didn’t say anything. August knew that cops and detectives didn’t like the ‘lab folk’ that much and they especially made fun of Allen for being a lab rat, for his age and his weird connection to the Captain.  August didn’t know anything about Barry until then and sure, he was quiet and a bit weird but he seemed like a nice guy. It took 7 months and 2 serious murder scenes for their friendship to fully develop. After that, Barry promised to help him with his brother’s case, only for the evidence to get destroyed during the lab incident which gave Barry his powers and 6 months-long coma. 

So, August didn’t see Wolfe again until he was arrested by the Flash and even then, August didn’t know much about the guy but he quickly learned his lesson in Heights. Wolfe’s name mentioned with a frown in the Station however August only found out how corrupt and shady the guy was after spending 8 months in Heights. If he wasn’t consumed by a self-righteous hunger for justice, he could pity the Rogues. 

But the real blow came when August found out, from the murmurs among the Rogues, about Eobard Thawne’s death. Eobard Thawne has never been a part of the Rogues; he wasn’t even a traditional or well-known criminal in Central City. August knew the real reason behind; Eobard wasn’t out there to terrorize the city; his only goal was to terrorize the Flash. A part of August was still bitter that Barry stopped him from killing the man alongside with other criminals. 

Long story short, other Rogues and criminals often hated Eobard Thawne for his attitude and his arrogance. It was clear Thawne didn’t respect them and saw them beneath him; he treated them like the dirt under his boots. In Thawne’s logic, Flash and he were at the top of the food chain and no one else could reach their level. Apart from his awful personality, his arrogance and his short temper, the other reason was that Thawne was held in a special cell. It was a hidden cell below where Rogues were held and no one has even seen what was inside. The tick metal door had no window. Nothing. August was sure it was illegal but he didn’t question it that much; Eobard deserved it after all. Also, Eobard Thawne has, obviously, never left the cell as long as he stayed at the Heights. Rogues have sometimes moved around; from cell to cell or to their therapies which Wolfe was strongly against but Flash argued to give at least some of them a rehabilitation chance. 

Eobard Thawne’s cell was a question among the other prisoners; after all, August had super-speed as well, why was he not in a cell like Thawne’s? What made him so special? He got away with a power dampening collar and a shatterproof glass cell.  Clearly , August wasn’t considered as dangerous as Eobard Thawne. A part of August wondered if Barry put in a good word for him, he didn’t know much about Thawne but he knew that he was one of the most dangerous foes Justice League has ever faced. Even though they still didn’t know why Eobard specially targeted Barry, was he obsessed with other speedsters? But Reverse showed no interest in the Kid or the redhead... or August himself. 

Only Barry.

Why?

Long story short, Eobard Thawne was the inmate with the highest risk and was thrown in a high-security cell in one of the highly secured prisons in the States. 

Then how did someone walk in Iron Heights without a problem and killed Thawne in his cell? And why was Wolfe hiding his death like the most well-kept secret of his life?  Of course, unlike other inmates gossiping about his death, August had a very strong theory about Thawne’s death; another ‘evil’ speedster. After all, someone walking into Heights was already hard enough, but doing it without leaving a trace or even footage behind? It had to be a speedster. 

Lucky (or unlucky) for August, he would get his answer his soon. That night, specifically. When the Flash himself, the symbol of goodness and dignity, broke him out of Iron Heights. August didn’t understand what happened until he found himself in the middle of a dark room, nothing like the blinding white lights of the cell block. He tripped and his back hit against the cold wall, as he groaned, he was aware of the cold metal of the dampener still tightly secured against his neck. He blinked a couple of times as his eyes adjusted to the dark. Wherever he was, it felt like an abandoned place. He tried to imagine why someone (probably an evil speedster) kidnapped him. To team up against the Flash? 

A tempting offer that August would turn down. He wasn’t playing when he said he wanted redemption. August was still behind his ideas; he believed Barry or Wolfe had no idea how to handle the Rogues and other criminals running around the CC. Wolfe was an idiot who was way too prideful and Barry was too soft and naïve. That didn’t mean he was willing to hurt or kill Barry. 

“I will take off the dampener if you promise to not run away.” August’s eyes widened. Barry was doing nothing to change his voice. Even though August’s eyes were still adjusting, he could see the lines of Barry’s lean body under the moonlight coming through broken windows. 

“Barry?!”

The other man walked closer to August until he stood close enough for August to see his face. There was something different about the way he looked, the way he stood. August could see it even in the darkness. There was a storm of emotions buried under that blank, controlled expression. His lips curved upward slightly.

“Hello, old friend.”

The first thought that came to August’s mind was, Barry cared about him enough to break him out of Iron Heights to protect him from the evil speedster who was running around and killing speedsters like Eobard Thawne. But something didn’t fit, the ex-detective in him could see the missing pieces of this mind-boggling puzzle. 

“It would be naïve of me to hope that you brought me here just to catch up?” August forced a smirk on his face and leaned back against the cold wall behind him, muscles tightened with anticipation. Barry lifted his hands and slowly pushed back his cowl, the blond locks falling into his eyes as he looked up at August with those wide, blue eyes that hid nothing. There was pain in his eyes, tangled with other feelings such as guilt, anger, fear...

Something terrible happened. 

Barry was known to be weird and tight-lipped in the station, however, August could read him like an open book. That’s how he knew Barry was the Flash. And now he could see that something changed in Barry Allen. 

“What happened?” His smirk dropped as August took a step forward toward Barry. The blond man ran a shaky hand through his hair and turned his eyes away. “Bear?”

“You were right, August.” Barry mumbled, not meeting August’s gaze. He turned his back to the dark-haired man and started pacing. August had Speed Force running in his veins for a couple of months until Barry and Wallace locked him up. Even now, with the dampener, he could still feel the ghost-like touch of Speed Force lurking over him. He also knew Barry well enough to understand that he was at the brink of a mental breakdown. He was having a panic attack. He raised his hands to stop Barry but the blond pulled back quickly, looking down at August’s hands with wide eyes.

His hands that were covered with blood once.

Barry looked down at his own hands, covered with red gloves, and whimpered. His long fingers were buried in his hair and pulled the blond strands.

“Barry!”

“You were right!” He hissed again, dropping his hands and looking up at August with those dark blue eyes that were burning with a hatred that August has never seen in the gentle and kind Barry Allen.

“About what?”

“Everything.” He pressed a palm against his chest, right above the lightning symbol. “It was my fault. It was all my fault. Because I wasn’t bold enough. I was so afraid, god, I was so afraid and others paid the price for my cowardice.”

“Barry, I have no idea what you are talking about and honestly, you are scaring me. This is not like you.” Once Barry slowed down, August placed a warm hand on his shoulder and pulled him closer. Barry lowered his head and allowed August to press his forehead against the taller man’s chest. “Calm down and tell me what happened.”

August felt Barry’s fingers on each side of his waist, grabbing his shirt, fingers digging into the flesh almost painfully. 

“I did it.” He whispered against August’s chest. “I killed him.”

“You did what?” August placed his  hands on Barry’s shoulders and pushed him away to take a better look at his face. “Who?”

“Eobard Thawne.” Barry’s fingers wrapped around his wrists. “I killed him. You were right about him. And you were right about me, too.” Barry took a step back from August and dropped his hands. “I have always been afraid of the way you saw the criminals. After all, my father was an innocent man locked up in Iron Heights for life... what if someone like you killed him before he could clear his name?” He pressed his fist against his lips for a second, eyes closing at the horror of that thought. “But then... there is a question that always hurt me too much to put into words; all this time, was I truly seeking good or was I just doing nothing to pose as the hero? After all, fighting has always been the easy part. It requires no depth, no thought, no morals. Joker blows up a theatre? You don’t have to think twice before trying to stop him. But what then?”

“What then?” August mumbled softly, eyes following Barry’s figure in the dark.

“What happens after you catch, Joker, August? What would you do?”

He didn’t want to answer. He knew what Barry was seeking. Despite his claim of murder, Barry was in desperate need of August’s approval. Another time, this would make him feel cocky and even happy. Now... It was terrible. Because he could follow Barry’s train of thoughts. He remembered oh so well the pattern. _ Godspeed _ knew. 

“Barry--”

“Don’t lie to me, August. You never did before, no need to start now.” Barry turned to look at him. “You told me so many times, you tried to change my mind. Now that I finally understand, you seem conflicted.”

“Because this is not you, Barry.” August sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “I know Barry Allen and it’s true, you aren’t perfect. And sometimes I believe you aren’t the hero they claim you to be. You let them go, so many of them.” Before Barry could say anything else, August continued. “Your self-righteous heroism isn’t what I believe in, but it’s what makes you, well, you. Me? I don’t mind it, I don’t mind sacrificing my own soul, my dignity, my heart to this. If it's for the greater good...”

“Because you have always been wiser than me.” Barry gave him a sad smile. “Even when I was simply a lab rat and you were a detective following his gut... You saw what we were dealing with, who we were working with. I have never been blind. Hell, I have been a victim of the judicial system as well but... justice doesn’t work, August. This system... it’s not working. Because law only applies to the poor, it’s there to keep them in line so they will just bow their heads down and work for their masters. But laws don’t apply to the rich, it’s there to keep them rich and powerful. What happens if those poor raise their heads and ask how did they get so rich? No, no, no, justice in this country and in this damn world is only reserved for those who have money and power to demand it. The rest of us.... we are only here to obey and do as we are told. And what happens if those who made empty and false promises of justice turn a blind eye to the injustice running in this city?  What choice do we have then, other than taking the matters in our own hands?”

August watched Barry angrily press his hands against his eyes to stop the tears with worry.

“It’s so damn easy to be the good guy in this world, August. That makes me wonder if I have ever been one. After all, who am I to be mad at  Snart for stealing from government when it’s the government who steal from people first? Who am I to judge  Snart for demanding to give what belongs to the people? We normalized a society where people go to bed hungry and cold. We normalized a world where some have toilets made of gold and others beg for a piece of bread. A world where prostitutes with no choice are ridiculed and insulted for selling their bodies to earn their life while we praise people who use and exploit the poor to make a fortune. Since when selling your body is worse than selling your soul, your humanity or your compassion? No! I have been so wrong.” He buried his hands in his hair angrily. “I have been playing my part in this awful game so far. What’s Len’s petty crimes next to those scum who are responsible for the suffering of millions to keep themselves in positions of powers?! I have been blind. But you... you saw the big picture, August. You knew what I didn’t, you saw what I couldn’t.”

“You are turning me into something I am not, Barry.” August said tiredly. “You want me to make you feel better? Here then; you are not a bad guy for killing Thawne. He deserved it.”

But Barry shook his head.

“It’s bigger than you and me now, August. Can’t you see, it doesn’t matter what or how I feel. My feelings don’t matter at all. I have been terrible so far. All those people are fighting for money and power... Well, I have power. And it’s a power that can change everything. It’s my responsibility, one that I have been avoiding for so long. I tried so hard to be in control since I got this power. I was afraid... I was scared of hurting someone. I was holding back. But no more. This city deserves better. And I have to give them that. All this time, I have been so worried about my own morals, I let those criminals hurt innocent people. I am to be blamed for all those deaths and suffering. I will make it up to the people. I promise.” 

“What do you want from me then, Barry? I was willing to be your rotten side before, I was ready to get my hands dirty when you couldn’t. Justice has to be blind; it can’t spare anyone and I was willing to be the cold, merciless Justice to your innocent kindness. But here you are... you don’t need me for that anymore. Then what? Why are we here? Or will you kill me, too? For killing that innocent man who I thought was the murderer of my brother?”

“You are right.” Barry mumbled mindlessly. “It’s too late now. I am ready to take that one step. I am ready to be what I have to be. I can’t sacrifice people to preserve my own morals and soul. There has to be a sacrifice. And in this case... it has to be me.” He looked up at August. “But I am not here to kill you. I am here to tell you that I understand. I am finally ready to accept the truth.”

“But doesn’t that make you a hypocrite?” August pressed. “I killed an innocent man. If you are our holy savior, if you are the Justice, aren’t you supposed to eliminate me as well?”

Barry grimaced painfully.

“No. It’s not—I—” August took a step forward, then another... until he was standing face to face with Barry.

“Go ahead, Bear. Kill me. It’s the only way to prove you are serious. It’s the only way to become what you claim to be.”

“ You are not—”

“Yes, I am. I am a criminal now. I want redemption, that’s true. But what is it up to you? You are the Justice and Justice is blind. You cannot spare me,  _ my friend _ .”

When Barry raised his hands, August was almost surprised. He wasn’t bluffing when he challenged Barry however, he also wasn’t expecting the blond man to actually kill or attack him. But then Barry wrapped his hands around August’s collar and pulled him forward, pressing his lips against the other man’s. August softly placed his  hands on Barry’s shoulders. It wasn’t a real kiss; it was just two people awkwardly pressing their lips against each other. Then Barry pulled back with a sob and pushed his face against August’s chest.

“I hate it! I hate it! I hate that I don’t know what to do and I hate how much it hurts me and how weak I am to actually become what I am supposed to be!” August gently wrapped his arms around Barry’s shoulders and placed his chin on top of Barry’s blond hair as he sobbed loudly.

“It’s okay, Bear. It’s going to be okay.”

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading, I am lanthimo on tumblr


End file.
